What We Will Be Working On Together

At the core of our counseling approach is the belief that a strong and thriving relationship is built on a foundation of love, trust, and faith. We are dedicated to helping Christian couples deepen their connection, resolve conflicts, and grow together in a way that aligns with their shared beliefs and values.

Whether you’re facing communication issues, struggling with trust, seeking premarital counseling, or simply looking to enrich your marriage, our experienced and compassionate Eternal Hope Christian Counseling is here to walk alongside you on this journey. Our commitment is to empower you to build a loving and enduring partnership that reflects the beauty of God’s plan for marriage.

What We Will Be Working On Together

1. How to practice problem-solving skills

The whole point of starting couples therapy is to learn problem-solving skills in order to better deal with your relationship. Relationship problems arise in marriages when we are not able to understand another person’s point of view, accept that those differences are only natural, and find a reasonable solution to work around them.

Couples need to primarily focus more on adaptability and acceptance with open arms. We expect people to be a certain way, but everyone is actually very different. Love and compatibility in marriages require acceptance and correction. That is why couples must strive to achieve that

2.  How to deal with the differences

It can be assumed that every marital problem can be worked out by skilled and effective communication. That is indeed the best way to deal with the differences in your relationship. “Agree to disagree” is a general truth that is often stressed during counseling sessions.

Even activities like going for walks or taking a long drive together can go a long way in putting grudges aside. Spending quality time together talking to each other well is all part of good communication. Even listening to and paying attention to each other’s musical tastes is an effective solution to the growing disconnection. Spending time with and talking more to your children can also often dissipate anger because it puts the bigger picture into perspective.

3. Lessons in anger management is the point of couples therapy

The whole point of couples therapy is understanding how to manage anger better, which will, in turn, make you more adept at dealing with the problems in your relationship. Anger is a potentially dangerous device that can arise from a variety of issues. But the sooner you get a hold of it, the sooner your life will approve.

When your partner is visibly angry and aggravated, you should try to tone down your own level of anger to avoid incensing an already heated atmosphere. When a person is angry, it is the responsibility of the other to remain calm and simply suggest that they just talk about it later. The whole idea is to avoid a pointless heated argument and talk it out when both people are in a calmer state of mind.

4. Understanding issues starting in childhood

One can say that one of the short-term goals of couples therapy is understanding the causes behind the erratic, irascible and problematic behavior of both partners in the marriage. Starting couples therapy can be enlightening as many childhood problems may come to the fore in this case. Childhood upbringing manifests itself in a variety of our interactions as adults.

When an impressionable young child observes frequent parental quarrels and has been subjected to a lot of parenting mistakes, they might internalize those patterns and mimic them in their own married life. The person might grow up to be more belligerent, display voluminous insecurities, and perhaps even develop ticks such as nail-biting.

It is important to understand that it will not be easy to extricate this facet of one’s personality. However, addressing it verbally and openly in therapy and effectively channeling that energy becomes extremely important. Realizing that this could pose a significant problem is among the most important aims of couples therapy.

5. How to talk tactfully and listen well comes under the scope of marital therapy

The primary goal of marriage counseling is to hone conversational skills. This will not only address the current problems such as boredom or complacency in a relationship but is a skill that will always be useful in your married life. In fact, it can even come handy in your interactions with other people as well. Good listening skills are imperative in any form of communication.

To foster a healthy relationship, one needs to be attentive, curious and eager to listen to one’s partner. A relationship becomes unhealthy when there is a breakdown of communication. Moreover, it’s vital to know how to word your arguments in order to convey your own stance on a particular situation but also accommodate your partner’s feelings.

We expect partners to understand each other, but people should speak up clearly and express themselves in words as well. Fighting or bickering, or sulking are not effective ways of dealing with a situation. One has to talk clearly and with an open mind.  The power of words is infinite and must be wielded carefully to have more fruitful conversations in your marriage.

6. How to criticize constructively

As already mentioned, words possess infinite power, especially in a relationship. Now criticism will arise from our differences with people, it is not something we can or should simply do away with. Constructive criticism is important to analyze what might be making the relationship go downhill and work toward correcting that holistically.

Therefore, a calm environment, a focused attitude, and open ears are all important in order to work out your problems and express what has been bothering you about your partner. Let them fully understand your point of view and also allow them to express their feelings too. Your criticism is important, but their reaction to your criticism should also be taken into account.

7. How to do away with hurtful words

The scope of marital therapy also includes discussing past conflicts and personal grievances. A lot of times, sometimes even for reasons that are completely unrelated, we tend to do or say things that we might not fully mean. We tend to rashly manifest internal conflicts in inappropriate ways and project our own feelings and emotions onto our partners.

While these situations are not completely avoidable owing to everyone’s mutual struggles, it is important to apologize sincerely at a later time and talk it out openly. When we give ourselves time to reflect and process our emotions on a personal level, our conversations and apologies can be much more intelligent and heartfelt later on since the tide of frustration has passed till then.

8. Understanding when the relationship went downhill

This is one of the most important examples of marriage counseling goals. When you enter the counselor’s office, probably the first thing you all do together is decode and understand where things actually started going wrong. A relationship or marriage can have its downer moments multiple times during its course. It is nothing that you should be wildly fretful about, but it requires timely recognition in order to ensure that you can tide over the phase passes swiftly.

As humans, not everything we do will be perfect. There are times when your marriage might appear to fail, but as long as you can correctly identify what is causing issues and prepare a path to navigate through the same, your marriage can become stronger than ever.

Couples therapy can be a fruitful exercise only when both partners have acknowledged the existence of a problem. Some cues for relationships becoming worn out are lack of communication, dryness in interactions, irritability, a decline in sexual relations, not preferring to go out together, and frequent clashes.

9. How to do away with the negativity

Giving each other a good amount of breathing space is often emphasized during marital counseling sessions. Unfortunately, it is something that couples repeatedly fail to acknowledge. Other people are allowed to have emotions that do not necessarily prescribe to our moods. A lack of this understanding can create a highly uncomfortable atmosphere for both partners.

People are wired individually. So when the going gets tough, individual reflection and personal space are key to creating a more positive space in your relationship. Moreover, a lot of negativity is simply created as a result of our own projection of feelings and insecurities.  Space is very important in a relationship.

10. How to say “Thank you” is one of the short-term goals for couples therapy

“Expressing gratitude is a minor aspect of displaying your ardent respect for your partner. This must be practiced by both partners in a relationship more often. One of the short-term goals for couples therapy can be learning to express gratitude and appreciation for each other’s efforts.

11. Bringing back the intimacy

Couples counseling is incomplete without addressing the intimacy between a couple. Dry spells can be quite frustrating, whether they are of a romantic nature or purely sexual. Sexual relationships are especially important for young and middle-aged couples.

Men are normally more focused on the physical aspect of relationships, and women are more concerned with the emotional aspects. But there should be a balanced exchange between the two as both are equally important. That is the key to striking good sexual compatibility and maintaining a healthy married life.

Engage in some quality “we time” rather than just “me time.” Another important thing stressed during couples therapy is the practice of sexual communication. More interaction is required as many couples don’t talk during intercourse and also avoid foreplay. Foreplay and after-play must also exist.

12. Working on the friendship

When starting couples therapy, know that this is one of the foremost things you will learn to do.  In the olden times, friendship was not really a key requisite in marriages, but nowadays, it is essential for a marriage to be fruitful. Marriage is now more than just a division of responsibilities and the exchange of emotions. For it to be a wholehearted and holistic experience, camaraderie must exist between the couple.

A complementary existence will, at times, require a playful and friendly attitude no matter how old you and your partner are. A little fun or banter can never bring harm to any relationship in your life. Why not practice it with the one you love, who is also your life partner?

13. How to apologize and forgive your partner

Strifes and relationship arguments will always exist between a couple. As human beings, it is only natural to disagree and to defend. But what adds value to the experience is the way a couple learns to overcome and work around those differences to return to a harmonious spot in their relationship.

To marry and accept someone in your life requires you to welcome all of your differences and quirks too. Depending on the situation, whether it is your turn to bend the knee or to sulk, you should do it with utmost love and care. That is one of the prime examples of marriage counseling goals.

If you don’t practice forgiveness in your relationship, it means that you are not accepting of the other person. You should also be ready to change yourself and make amends when something goes wrong. That is why it is important to know how to apologize to your partner.

14. Understand different personalities and their styles of functioning

Every single one of us has grown up differently and had individual experiences. Our uniqueness is what makes us attractive to other people. But often, too much uniqueness or too many differences can hamper everyday living. Understanding differences will be one of our primary goals for marriage counseling.

Different personalities are natural. But developing a good understanding is far more important. Why should we even try to make the other person be exactly like ourselves? We should give them the liberty to be themselves. That is true understanding in a marriage. We must also accept them and practice good coordination between both personality types. That is what a couple should learn well in therapy.

15. Developing a shared value system is the point of couples therapy

Each marriage has its own ‘marital character.’ A value system is something that is much more personally relevant and also ever-changing. The character of each marriage is different. Some couples have open marriages while others are very strict about ideas such as loyalty.”

As long as couples have had a thorough discussion on what kind of character they expect their marriage to have, things should be relatively smooth. Marital therapy can help couples reveal that character to themselves.

Thus, we can conclusively agree that the above factors can serve as a checklist to evaluate the fundamental aspects of your marriage. Even though every marriage has its own personality, journey, and tribulations, there are a few common ways to make the experience more fulfilling to share with your life partner.